On her 99th birthday, the late, great Hazel McCallion – former mayor of Mississauga – said, “the secret to longevity is purpose.”

I agree with her.

Finding purpose is different for everyone. Purpose is what most parents feel when raising their children. At first, one’s purpose is to ensure that a tiny human being thrives. As the child grows, one’s purpose extends beyond survival towards mundane and more significant acts that help to mould, influence and motivate them. Later, when children leave home, many parents struggle to fill the void that exists, especially if their sole purpose has been raising children.

Even if one has divided their purpose between parenting/managing a home and maintaining a job or career, there is still a change as to how purposeful one feels as children become more independent and even reject your wanting to help.

Over three decades of helping people, I have had the honour of hearing private details of others lives and peoples’ innermost thoughts. Some find purpose at a young age. Others not. Some find purpose at home, as I’ve mentioned. Others mostly outside of the home. Some have struggled to find purpose their entire lives.

For those who have felt purposeful before, but not so much any longer, I understand that this often happens later in life. Children leaving home, elderly parents passing and retirement or losing one’s job can all leave one feeling purposeless. And if you’ve had a great sense of purpose before, but now not, then the loss may feel even greater because you know what feeling purposeful is like.

No matter your age, finding purpose is essential for your mental health and well being. It’s the reason that you get out of bed in the morning. The reason that you wash your body and get dressed. Finding purpose doesn’t have to be grand. It doesn’t mean that you need to work towards fame, unless that’s what drives you.

Getting up to feed and take your dog for a walk helps you feel purposeful. If you pride yourself on maintaining a clean and organized home, purpose can be felt when completing what’s on your chore list for the day. Purpose can be found in volunteering, especially after you’ve retired and aren’t relying on an income to get by. Purpose can be found when helping a neighbour rake her leaves or go grocery shopping. Purpose can be found when learning how to play an instrument that you’ve always enjoyed listening to or learning a new language. Purpose can be found in joining a group of like-minded individuals to share your ideas, to socialize and to connect with one another.

So, whether you’re still figuring out your long-term purpose in life, or how to continue to feel purposeful, after years of finding purpose that has fallen away, I encourage you to make finding purpose a priority. Sometimes you can do this on your own, following research and reflection. And if you’re not having great success on your own, consider talking to a therapist who may be able to guide you. No matter how you journey towards it, make finding purpose your focus.